We are in our house. What a blessing, we love the neighborhood, the area, the school, and of course the house. We are doing some renovations and it has prevented us from unpacking the majority of the house, so we’ve been living in a disaster area for the last 2 weeks. My one year old is determined (and I do mean determined) to get electrocuted by the exposed outlets, swallow the loose screws, climb into the fireplace, pull down all the paper over the windows… And we are all tired of living out of boxes, at the mall, eating out… This is my confession, it is so easy for me to stand in the middle of the house look around and start to panic. I see all the mess, I feel all the aches of moving, I have all the worries of being unsettled and THEN here it comes, instead of praying and begging to see what God has for me I start pointing and looking around. I say “ there are people all across the world that would LOVE to be in my shoes, what gives me the right to complain?” Unfortunately this is not a prayer that comes from a heart full of mercy, instead mine is full of pride. Much like the prayer of the Pharisee in Luke 18:9. My heart is full of religion one that abides by moral law and not by grace. Basically, I’m saying don’t help me God, I need to do this myself, help those that are really sick, really weak, not me I’m too good and strong for your help. I love how Rose Miller explains religious moralism in her book, From Fear to Freedom…
Religious moralism is rooted in the power of will and self. Eventually it fails and we act like orphans: frightened, insecure people who need to be in control. We might be able to analyze of problems, but we cannot invent a cure. (and so we are left with our heads spinning, lost in the problem totally unable to see Hope)
Ok, this writing thing really helps me, I’m getting so excited. You what this means!? It’s all a facade! That’s right you know order, control, it’s not true, even though sometimes it seems like maybe I have some I really don’t. But I have Jesus (or He has me) and where I just analyze (can I even do that?) , He will CHANGE (my heart or whatever He sees fit)! Forget the house change my heart! Ok, my balloon has been popped… The room has stopped spinning and I’m realizing once again that He died for Me, ornery self righteous me. Today has suddenly turned into a beautiful day, wow…
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3 comments:
Wow...you take us right along with on your whirlwind...i mean thought process! HA! Thanks for baring your soul. Can't wait to come over -I'll even sweep your floors!!! Call me!
Thanks for your post! I think it is so easy to get caught in that when we go through everyday life. You reminded me that I need to ask God for strength everyday right now because I can't do this on my own (even though I keep telling myself that I can). I'm glad you guys got moved, let us know if we can do anything!
So good to hear from you on my blog! I didn't know if Kip knew who I was or not. Tell him "hello" back! Your blog is inspiring. Thanks for being so transparent. So good to be in touch with you! I'd love to see you again! It's been WAY TOO LONG! My brother is in the plano area (Prosper). We don't make it up there much, but if we ever do, I'll comment on your blog or something and get your email or something so I can see ya! We'll be in touch!
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