We are in our house. What a blessing, we love the neighborhood, the area, the school, and of course the house. We are doing some renovations and it has prevented us from unpacking the majority of the house, so we’ve been living in a disaster area for the last 2 weeks. My one year old is determined (and I do mean determined) to get electrocuted by the exposed outlets, swallow the loose screws, climb into the fireplace, pull down all the paper over the windows… And we are all tired of living out of boxes, at the mall, eating out… This is my confession, it is so easy for me to stand in the middle of the house look around and start to panic. I see all the mess, I feel all the aches of moving, I have all the worries of being unsettled and THEN here it comes, instead of praying and begging to see what God has for me I start pointing and looking around. I say “ there are people all across the world that would LOVE to be in my shoes, what gives me the right to complain?” Unfortunately this is not a prayer that comes from a heart full of mercy, instead mine is full of pride. Much like the prayer of the Pharisee in Luke 18:9. My heart is full of religion one that abides by moral law and not by grace. Basically, I’m saying don’t help me God, I need to do this myself, help those that are really sick, really weak, not me I’m too good and strong for your help. I love how Rose Miller explains religious moralism in her book, From Fear to Freedom…
Religious moralism is rooted in the power of will and self. Eventually it fails and we act like orphans: frightened, insecure people who need to be in control. We might be able to analyze of problems, but we cannot invent a cure. (and so we are left with our heads spinning, lost in the problem totally unable to see Hope)
Ok, this writing thing really helps me, I’m getting so excited. You what this means!? It’s all a facade! That’s right you know order, control, it’s not true, even though sometimes it seems like maybe I have some I really don’t. But I have Jesus (or He has me) and where I just analyze (can I even do that?) , He will CHANGE (my heart or whatever He sees fit)! Forget the house change my heart! Ok, my balloon has been popped… The room has stopped spinning and I’m realizing once again that He died for Me, ornery self righteous me. Today has suddenly turned into a beautiful day, wow…
Friday, August 22, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
House #2
If first you don't succeed, try try again! The first house was beautiful, but at the inspection we found out that it was falling apart. It needed big things like a new roof, work on the A/C, work on the pool and the list goes on. We have decided on a house in the same general area, this one needs a little cosmetic work, but that is a lot more fun than a new roof! Move in date is August 13th...
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Big Update!
Where should I begin!? This blog hasn’t been updated in so long! Back in June we sold our house! Yeah! I actually met the new owners and they seem like great people. I talked to the wife for a long time and she was sure that the Lord had orchestrated everything with buying our house and selling theirs. She was super excited about moving her six girls to Wylie from out of state. It was such a good conversation, I love that nice people are buying this house. They even love our style which was good because we don’t have to worry about covering our concrete floors, but also bad because they took all my kitchen furniture! The house hunt is coming to a close this week. We found a beautiful house that we did not expect to get with our offer, but somehow did! I guess I shouldn’t say the city on the internet, but I think most of you know. You know it’s one of those plain, ole cities. I crack myself up. Anyways we haven’t has it inspected or anything yet so it’s not officially ours yet.
Another exciting event was Kip and I’s 10th wedding anniversary! The last ten years have brought so many changes! We celebrated Young style with a trip to Macaroni grill and Barnes and Nobles. Then Kip bought a really nice bottle of wine (I think it cost more than our dinner) and we toasted and kissed a little ;). Good times with my honey! Oh and yes there is a big difference between expensive wine and the cheap stuff. I guess I’ll have to bare my soul on the changes in our marriage soon. I honestly never thought I would feel more happiness, more love, be more known and heard, by Kip than I am in this moment. Not that it was ever a bad marriage, there was just a faint whisper in my ear that it could be better. Thank you Jesus. Oh and I guess if you’ve read my blog you know this already, but it’s worth repeating. God wanted to change my heart and that changed my marriage, changed everything actually.
More excitement! Last weekend we attended our first membership class to join our church! I was actually pretty terrified going in… This will be the third time Kip and I have really thrown our lives into a church. I am going in with a different attitude though, I know I need guidance from the leaders now. Whereas the times before I have just thought of all the ways I would help shape the church. You know all my knowledge and expertise. I have nothing to offer this church really. I am willing to do pretty much whatever they ask though. I figure if they say it is going to make my life better then I will believe them. I have to trust someone, right? The meeting was amazing it confirmed that this is where God wants us. Three hours flew by and I continue to fall more and more in love with the church and best of all with Jesus. Also, I asked about more campuses and they said it was a possibility. I’m thrilled and praying for a campus in my plain ole city!
Last but not least… Today is my baby’s first birthday! I can’t believe he is turning one! I have to say that his little arrival rocked this mamma’s world. I think I complained about it to everyone for at least the first 8 months. I’m a little better now, but some days, well anyways… Two words to describe Maddox would be curious and happy. I say curious because, if there is a table in the room, he’s under it, a cabinet he’s pulling everything out, a place he’s not supposed to be, he is there! And then, everywhere we go he smiles at people. He actually stares people down until they smile back. Awh, Maddox we can’t imagine what it was ever like without you! We had a small party with just family to celebrate, take a look…
Another exciting event was Kip and I’s 10th wedding anniversary! The last ten years have brought so many changes! We celebrated Young style with a trip to Macaroni grill and Barnes and Nobles. Then Kip bought a really nice bottle of wine (I think it cost more than our dinner) and we toasted and kissed a little ;). Good times with my honey! Oh and yes there is a big difference between expensive wine and the cheap stuff. I guess I’ll have to bare my soul on the changes in our marriage soon. I honestly never thought I would feel more happiness, more love, be more known and heard, by Kip than I am in this moment. Not that it was ever a bad marriage, there was just a faint whisper in my ear that it could be better. Thank you Jesus. Oh and I guess if you’ve read my blog you know this already, but it’s worth repeating. God wanted to change my heart and that changed my marriage, changed everything actually.
More excitement! Last weekend we attended our first membership class to join our church! I was actually pretty terrified going in… This will be the third time Kip and I have really thrown our lives into a church. I am going in with a different attitude though, I know I need guidance from the leaders now. Whereas the times before I have just thought of all the ways I would help shape the church. You know all my knowledge and expertise. I have nothing to offer this church really. I am willing to do pretty much whatever they ask though. I figure if they say it is going to make my life better then I will believe them. I have to trust someone, right? The meeting was amazing it confirmed that this is where God wants us. Three hours flew by and I continue to fall more and more in love with the church and best of all with Jesus. Also, I asked about more campuses and they said it was a possibility. I’m thrilled and praying for a campus in my plain ole city!
Last but not least… Today is my baby’s first birthday! I can’t believe he is turning one! I have to say that his little arrival rocked this mamma’s world. I think I complained about it to everyone for at least the first 8 months. I’m a little better now, but some days, well anyways… Two words to describe Maddox would be curious and happy. I say curious because, if there is a table in the room, he’s under it, a cabinet he’s pulling everything out, a place he’s not supposed to be, he is there! And then, everywhere we go he smiles at people. He actually stares people down until they smile back. Awh, Maddox we can’t imagine what it was ever like without you! We had a small party with just family to celebrate, take a look…
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Trip to the River
We just got back from a trip to the Illinois River with some of our best friends. We had a blast riding the river, cooking, roasting marshmallows, and just hanging out! Take a peek at my pics :)!
Myla getting ready to go rafting...
Getting ready to go swimming
Myla and London so sweet!
Girls paddling back from a rafting trip, we make it look easy :)
Guys coming back!
Rafting buddies
Here are all the kids on a very stinky couch!Friday, May 30, 2008
Not Okay!
I’m reading Instruments in the Redeemer’s Hands by Paul Tripp and I had to share this paragraph. I love hearing that it’s okay not to be okay.
“The grace that adopts me into Christ’s family is not a grace that says I am okay. In fact, the Bible is clear that God extends his grace to me because I am everything but okay. As we enter God’s family, we are in need of radical personal change. God’s acceptance is not a call to relax, but a call to work. Paul says in Titus 2:11-12, ‘For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in the present age.’ The grace God extends to us is always grace leading to change. His acceptance is not the end of his work; it is the beginning! Our justification must never be separated from our sanctification. They are two parts of a seamless work of redemption.”
Starting a few years ago I felt this urge to pray and fast specifically for change. Over and over, year after year I have prayed for the same thing. The Holy Spirit’s prompting was powerful, His theme specific and although His calling was clear in my sin I filled in the blank. What needed to change? Well everything around me of course! I have been convinced that the change needed to happen in loved ones, friends, institutions, circumstances… I even have appealing data to back up why all those people and things need to change. My flesh fights the truth that I am the broken one and everything in me wants to run, even now. But, as I look back His grace is so clear. The need to pray for change was real and personal and He in His mercy was preparing me to see the darkness of my own heart. He is forever increasing my faith to stand still (instead of running in fear) and see what I am holding onto and trying to control instead of relying on Him. It’s hard concluding that I will never be ok this side of heaven and that I will always be mourning my sin. The relief is that the groaning hunger within me means that God is sanctifying me and I am His. His spirit within me cries out for Himself!
“Because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, "Abba! Father!" Galatians 4:6
“The grace that adopts me into Christ’s family is not a grace that says I am okay. In fact, the Bible is clear that God extends his grace to me because I am everything but okay. As we enter God’s family, we are in need of radical personal change. God’s acceptance is not a call to relax, but a call to work. Paul says in Titus 2:11-12, ‘For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in the present age.’ The grace God extends to us is always grace leading to change. His acceptance is not the end of his work; it is the beginning! Our justification must never be separated from our sanctification. They are two parts of a seamless work of redemption.”
Starting a few years ago I felt this urge to pray and fast specifically for change. Over and over, year after year I have prayed for the same thing. The Holy Spirit’s prompting was powerful, His theme specific and although His calling was clear in my sin I filled in the blank. What needed to change? Well everything around me of course! I have been convinced that the change needed to happen in loved ones, friends, institutions, circumstances… I even have appealing data to back up why all those people and things need to change. My flesh fights the truth that I am the broken one and everything in me wants to run, even now. But, as I look back His grace is so clear. The need to pray for change was real and personal and He in His mercy was preparing me to see the darkness of my own heart. He is forever increasing my faith to stand still (instead of running in fear) and see what I am holding onto and trying to control instead of relying on Him. It’s hard concluding that I will never be ok this side of heaven and that I will always be mourning my sin. The relief is that the groaning hunger within me means that God is sanctifying me and I am His. His spirit within me cries out for Himself!
“Because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, "Abba! Father!" Galatians 4:6
Friday, April 25, 2008
Head in the Trees
So I understand that I am in the center of most of my struggles. Sometimes I just get stuck thinking and analyzing myself. Lately when I feel stuck I try to head outside or look out the window at the trees. I happened on a verse in Isaiah that says the trees will clap to God. One day while driving I glanced up and sure enough the branches of each tree looked like they were clapping. Now I find myself lost in the trees... I wonder how they just stand there through rain, heat, cold, hail, good day, bad day, whatever and just clap and give glory to God.
Today was just kind of well, dull. I feel bad about saying that as a Christian. But anyways it was... Do you think doing the laundry, feeding my kids, changing diapers, loading the dishwasher, playing with the kids, holding them, listening to them... Could this be my way of clapping?
Today was just kind of well, dull. I feel bad about saying that as a Christian. But anyways it was... Do you think doing the laundry, feeding my kids, changing diapers, loading the dishwasher, playing with the kids, holding them, listening to them... Could this be my way of clapping?
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
4 Things
For lack of anything else to say I'm posting this! Post it on your blog if you're surfing through :)
1) Four places I go to over and over:
Mason’s School
Walmart
Church
Target
2) Four people who e-mail me (regularly):
Tarrah
Red Envelope
Loudene from our homeowners board
Mother in Law
3) Four places I would rather be right now:
Curled up in bed asleep with Kip
Laughing with good friends
Driving in California with a Starbucks and my man
On vacation with my family (maybe Disney World)
4) Four people I think will respond:
Tarrah
Amy
Kris
Julie
5) Tv shows that I watch over and over:
American Idol
Big Brother
Battlestar Galactica (husband's fault, but I have to say it is a great show!)
Office
1) Four places I go to over and over:
Mason’s School
Walmart
Church
Target
2) Four people who e-mail me (regularly):
Tarrah
Red Envelope
Loudene from our homeowners board
Mother in Law
3) Four places I would rather be right now:
Curled up in bed asleep with Kip
Laughing with good friends
Driving in California with a Starbucks and my man
On vacation with my family (maybe Disney World)
4) Four people I think will respond:
Tarrah
Amy
Kris
Julie
5) Tv shows that I watch over and over:
American Idol
Big Brother
Battlestar Galactica (husband's fault, but I have to say it is a great show!)
Office
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