Summer and School Update

I can't believe summer is over and the new school year has begun. We had a great summer, I posted some pictures on the sidebar... We had a couple of swim parties, including a 4th of July party and Maddox's Beach Birthday Party. We got to see my grandparents on both sides, we also went to Lake Texhoma and the kids all had swimming lessons. Mason learned the butterfly stroke, Myla worked on her breathing and her front to back turn, and Maddox swam under water for 5 seconds. It was fun. The biggest lesson I learned this summer was that "I'm bored" turns into great fun if you can just wait out the whining, haha.

We are very excited about the school year. Mason is in second grade and his excitement about school has not waned. He starts gymnastics and boy scouts this month. Myla started a new preschool, it's sort of a Montessori school with less structure and more emphasis on imagination and play. Myla is my creative one, so I'm hoping this will be a good way to encourage her learning style. The pictures of the park are of her playground. It is amazing, it has many fun, different play structures and a real bunny! She starts ballet this month also. Maddox will be home with me this year. I'm looking forward to the days I get him alone. Be sure to look for the impressive "cereal mountain" he made with his cereal one morning. That's all I have for now!

Happy Birthday Maddox!

Happy Birthday Maddox! You're the coolest 2 year old I know! My baby is growin' up!

Stitches

First of the kids to get stitches. Myla just slipped on the floor and busted her chin, nothing too exciting. She was so brave at the hospital and we are so proud of her. She put up a good fight during the ten minutes that it took to stitch her up, but that was it. And all it took was a red popsicle make everything better.

She had to have Marlee in the picture. Check out my new fence and hibiscus!

Just Thinking...

This is my third entry this week; I think that’s a record!

I have been thinking lately about how beautiful it must be to the Lord when we stumble awkwardly to follow His will…

You know the time you nervously handed your troubled co worker a Bible…

Or that silly confession you told even though you thought you might get laughed at or berated…

Like the time you walked all the way down from the balcony to the front of the church just to receive prayer…

Or when you sweat through a prayer for your friend even though you hate to pray out loud…

Feelings do not determine holiness. And you know looking back, the times when the Lord has actually been pulling me closer have been the times when I have had the most questions about my efforts to follow Him and know Him.

“Humble yourself before the Lord and He will lift you up.” James 4:10

Happy Birthday Myla!

Four years ago today cried out "it's a girl" for everyone to hear. What a blessing she has been. My girl loves to be outside, she's independent, shy at first, but loves people, and has a sweet tender heart. I love you Myla!

Wise Whispers

Happy Monday! Yesterday I had such an overwhelming experience at church. It was almost as if God spoke directly to me as Matt preached. The last two weeks came together as God’s route to repentance in my heart. It was so beautiful and kind of Him. I was thinking about my blog friends and how grateful I am that they have found church homes that they love also. It is truly a blessing to leave the world for an hour or so to worship and be vulnerable with God’s people.

And to top it off last night ended with a great lesson from the Dog Whisperer! I know there have got to be other Ceasar Millan fans out there, right? He trains dogs, but seriously his patience and lessons about being assertive really speak to me. Last night he had to work with three unruly dogs. After being bit twice which actually ripped his shirt and broke skin; then dealing with too crazy hyper dogs for hours he actually lost his cool! His closing remark was… (sounds even better if read with an accent) “I’m exhausted! I feel like I went here from Mexico and came back. I’m not going to question why God send me the challenge, I’m just going to thank Him for it.”

Lord, I have once again tried to take your place in my life. I grow weary of punishing myself for unmet standards you do not ask me to keep. Help me to take this day or even just this moment not as I think it should be but as you would have it. Flood my heart with gratefulness and praise for You and your grace, Lord help me return to you. Amen.

Another "M"

Kip came home with this adorable little puppy on Valentines Day. She is a 10 week old Shih Tzu named Marlee. Myla has not put her done since we got her. We had to put her in the crate to go to church Sunday and Myla cried so hard as we got into the car. I thought we got her calmed down and then I looked in the backseat and she was starring out the window with big alligator tears and her lipped turned out. I love her tender heart. We were strong together and held hands the rest of the way to church. Marlee on the other hand loves her crate. She actually goes in there by herself when she needs a rest. Kip and I have decided we want to be crate trained too.

25 Things...

My friend Stacy did this and I heard It was going around Facebook so I thought I would join the fun. Here are 25 things you might not know about me…

1. I’ve picked up the bottle again, that is Dr Pepper. I love the stuff, but stopped drinking it for diet concerns. We have recently renewed our love affair but with just sips we’re not to the gulping stage as of yet.

2. When I grow up I want to be like Mason. He gets along with everyone (even bullies), his focus is amazing (builds entire lego sets in just hours) and is open to trying all kinds of new things. He has a wide array of interests at night he rotates from reading Captain Underpants and the Bible.

3. I still love the quote on my blog banner, but I will say I’m not intimidated by my shaky voice anymore. A few weeks ago I stood up in front of 50 people and testified about my own weaknesses and my voice didn’t bother me. When Christ invades hearts and strengthens souls it is amazing what changes.

4. I am currently obsessing over a dog. I look at petfinder everyday to check out the new mutts. Stacy call if you find a young medium sized female dog, that doesn’t shed much, loves kids and is potty trained…

5. Most of my 2 friends that read this know this already, but my youth group pastor was Joe Simpson. He even counseled me for almost a year. When Jessica first got popular she talked about the stories her dad would tell her about the girls he counseled apparently that helped her stay on the right track in life. Ha ha, glad I could help.

6. Facebook is super intimidating to me, I’m not on yet but I sneak on Kip’s every now and then. Shhhh, don’t tell.

7. Another secret I hold close is that Maddox my little trouble maker actually cracks me up with all his schnanagins. Where does and 18 month old get all that will power?

8. One of Kip and I’s favorite things to do is drive. Even when we were in college we would take long drives with the windows down listening to good music. Back then it was Dave Wilcox…

9. When I was 2 I got my tooth knocked out when I hit it on a slide. The permanent tooth grew in with a discolored spot which still shows even though I’ve had it fixed. Annoying

10. I think honesty is totally under rated. Whenever I hear someone who is cutthroat honest about their life it always takes me back for a minute. I want to “help” them by saying it’s not that bad or even fix them. What a blessing to be able to sit still and take in someone else’s life without judging and what faith it takes to trust them in the arms of Jesus and not in your own. Honesty is just another word for integrity.

11. Whenever I’m not being honest about something in my life the house seems extra dirty and I always think if I can somehow get it clean, then I will feel better (which never works). Either that or I start blaming Kip for everything.

12. I’m getting better at listening, but still have a long way to go in that department.

13. Someday Kip and I want to buy a lake house so we can get away with friends and family on the weekends.

14. I loved vacations as a kid. Seemed like one of few times when we all relaxed and nothing was an issue. We always went to Port Isabel and South Padre to visit my grandparents and camping in Colorado.

15. One of my biggest fears for Myla is that she will grow up to be absolutely beautiful and she’ll think that’s all she is… Bikini Girl on American Idol made my stomach churn, poor girl and mom.
16. I like to sing really loud at church even though I can’t carry a single note. I don’t want to hear any comments from Tarrah or Kip on that one!

17. I LOVE my church, I do miss the small, quaint, family feel and close distance of our previous one though. But, the wisdom and depth The Village brings is unmatched.

18. I always dreamed of having 3 kids, the two book ends would be one sex and the middle one would be the opposite. That way there would be no middle child syndrome and everyone would feel special. Sounds like a plan, now how did everything get so complicated?

19. There are chapters in the Bible that really scare me. I really don’t like Matthew, mostly for his version of the Parable of the Sower. Makes me nervous just thinking about it…

20. I have many journals full of writings trying to understand and work out some of Jesus teachings. There are so many things I long to understand…

21. My favorite fast food is a Burger Street chicken sandwich, tator tots and a DP.

22. I hate shopping, well actually I hate deciding what to buy. I could look all day I can just never decide on anything.

23. I have a very good friend that calls me a deep sea fish she says that’s why I have Kip so he can remind me to come up to the surface and breathe, what insight she has.

24. My favorite color is orange… I have loved having an orange dining room in my past homes. We have a yellow/gold/orange entry way here and an orange stripe in Maddox’s room.

25. Man, this has been tough! I think you know everything about me now! I hope you will share too!

Tagged...

I have been tagged by my friend Amy:)

Here are the rules:
1) Choose the 4th folder where you store your pictures on your computer.
2) Select the 4th picture in the folder.
3) Explain the picture.
4) Tag 4 people to do the same. No cheating (cropping, editing, etc.)

And here it is!




This was taken in 2004 at a Christmas party. I'm obviously pregnant with Myla and Kip is lookin' pretty yummy! Sweet Mason is about to turn 3, what a cutie in his sweater vest.

I'm tagging Kristen Sunna, Sammi Ferguson, Julie Hart, and Andi Stubblefield

Happy Birthday Mason!

My baby is 7! We love you MASON!

The View from here

Seeing: Well, I can’t help but notice that my sweet family is growing. The new family picture helped me stop and take notice that each one of the kids are really blooming. Mason is 7 next month! He excels at school and especially loves math (word problems, geometry, it is amazing what he can do already!) and spelling. At home I would say his favorite hobbies are jump roping and paper crafts?. I don’t know what else to call them, but for a while he was really into dot to dots, and then there was a paper airplane phrase, and now he is into cutting out snowflakes… He tells me that jumping rope is a great exercise for the whole body, so he works out often. Then we have Myla. She is my sweet girl with some mean looks. We are really working on smiling at new people instead of staring them down. She loves playing with Maddox. Dressing him up in her princess skirts and forcing him into closets to play with flash lights are some of her games. He doesn’t mind too much. Lil bubba's nickname is Mad Max. He is really turning into a toddler. He understands when I ask him to find his blanket or cup. He is a mess and will literally open drawers and pull everything out. Take a look and see what I see.

Hearing: The other day when Maddox was pulling everything out of my drawer and the other two were chasing eachother through the house I turned on my Christmas Mix and Mindy Smith was singing. Her music helped calm the chaos. So I’m listening to her a lot lately.

Tasting: I eat sandwiches everyday usually and when winter comes I crave soup. This year I have treated myself to homemade instead of canned. I just make a batch on Monday and heat it up everyday. My favorite has been White Chili with navy beans and chicken. The recipe is super easy and on the back of cans of Busch’s Navy Beans. My batch only lasted 3 days it was so good. Yum!

Smelling: This one was hard. Besides, my soup and the new scented trash bags I bought I can’t think of much. My favorite smell this time of year is the fireplace and cinnamon. I love those cinnamon pinecones. And I love walking Mason home from the bus when it’s cold and smelling the fireplaces burning.

Touching: These hands are usually bathing, tickling, cleaning up after, wiping noses, changing diapers, doing laundry, claening ect! This last weekend Kip and I got to stay in a hotel for the first time in over 2 years. He had his work party downtown and we got a room in the hotel. We stayed up late, drank a little, ate really good free food, talked with adults, and slept in a cozy bed until almost 10 in the morning! (Betcha thought I was gonna get graphic) It was amazing.

Faith: I’m listening to Matt Chandler’s Ecclesiastes series. He says that faith is our sixth sense and our world without it is meaningless. I love the possibility that this sense may actually grow stronger as I age even though the others are sure to weaken. Yet since my entire view on life hinges on this; the future is very bright. Most of all I love that I can’t mess it up and that it’s very existence in me depends on someone else’s work which is complete.

Just for Fun

Anyone up for blogging a survey? Here's mine...

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Yes, my mom’s best friend Angie, but I didn’t inherit the “e”
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Yesterday, not yet today, but there is still time…
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? No
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Boar’s Head Maple Glazed Honey Turkey
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Oh yes
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Sure I would
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Sometimes
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Never!
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Granola
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Nope
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Strong willed maybe and sometimes that effects my physical strength
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? It has to be soy, but I love Brownie Fudge
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Their countenance
15. RED OR PINK? RED
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? I’m too critical
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Amy P!
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? I hope they blog it!
19. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Asics
20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Pasta for Lunch
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? A little girl that should be napping yelling “mommie”
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? A cool shade of blue
23. FAVORITE SMELLS? Cinnamon and fresh flowers
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? My mom
25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Love her!
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Are reality shows a sport? Football I guess?
27. HAIR COLOR? Brown (has gotten darker with each child, I’ve thought about going blonde so I look like my kids)
28. EYE COLOR? Bright Blue
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Yep
30. FAVORITE FOOD? Chocolate
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? happy endings
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Baby Mama, too funny!
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Navy Blue
34. SUMMER OR WINTER? Can't wait until summer now that we have a pool
35. HUGS OR KISSES? Yum, I love them both!
36. FAVORITE DESSERT? Chocolate Cake
37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? ???
38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? ???
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? Om Paradise Drive by David Brooks
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? I don’t have one
41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? Amazing Race and My Own Worst Enemy 42. FAVORITE SOUND? That rolling laugh that when the kids get really tickled
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles
44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME??? Antigua
45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? I can talk in a weird squeaky voice (is that a talent?)
46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Dallas, Texas
47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK? everyone's

Giving Thanks To God

And on to Psalms 105, "Give thanks to the Lord, call on His name; make known the nations what He has done".

Today God has seen fit to act quickly in my life. A few awkward conversations, then an affirming one, hours of twitter updates and some Tylenol and life is renewed and totally different. New doors are opened for deeper relationships and healing both physical and emotional has already begun. Praise the Lord! Since the last post I can't stop singing...

Bless the Lord, Oh my soul and all that is within me bless His holy name.

Seeking...

I'm reading Psalms 104 today. Babies are in surgery, children are sick, family members are suffering, friends are struggling; my heart is in distress. I need a God that "cloaks himself in light" , one "that stretches the heavens out like a tent" and rides the clouds like a chariot. The Truth says that He makes the water to quench the thirsts of beasts and grows plants for the cattle. The lions powerful as they may be cannot hunt alone, they must seek their food from God. The earth trembles with one glance from Him and with one touch the mountains smoke.

My mind cannot fathom your might and your undieing love. I beg you Lord, open your hand and satisfy those who are hurting. Send your Spirit to renew the weary. The glory of the Lord will endure forever. Praise the Lord, O my soul.

Something to think about...

CODEPENDENCY AND CHRISTIAN LIVING

On the surface, codependency messages sound like Christian teaching.
"Codependents always put others first before taking care of themselves." (Aren’t Christians to put others first?)
"Codependents give themselves away." (Shouldn’t Christians do the same?)
"Codependents martyr themselves." (Christianity honors its martyrs.)
Those statements have a familiar ring, don’t they? Then how can we distinguish between codependency, which is unhealthy to codependents and their dependents, and mature faith, which is healthy.

Codependency says:
I have little or no value.
Other persons and situations have all the value.
I must please other people regardless of the cost to my person or my values.
I am to place myself to be used by others without protest.
I must give myself away.
If I claim any rights for myself, I am selfish.

Jesus taught the value of the individual. He said we are to love others equal to ourselves, not more than. A love of self forms the basis for loving others. The differences between a life of service and codependency take several forms.

Motivation differs. Does the individual give his service and himself out of free choice or because he considers himself of no value? Does he seek to "please people"? Does he act out of guilt and fear? Does he act out of a need to be needed (which means he actually uses the other person to meet his own needs; the helpee becomes an object to help the helper achieve his own goals).

Service is to be an active choice. The person acts; codependents react. Codependents behavior is addictive rather than balanced. Additions control the person instead of the person being in charge of their own life.

Codependents have poor sense of boundaries; they help others inappropriately (when it creates dependency on the part of the other person rather than moving that person toward independence). They have trouble setting limits for themselves and allow others to invade their boundaries. A codependent’s sense of self-worth is tied up in helping others; Christianity says that a person has worth simply because he is a human being God created. Ones self-worth is separate from the work one does or the service one renders.

Codependents have difficulty living balanced lives; they do for others at the neglect of their own well-being and health; Christian faith calls for balanced living and taking care of oneself.
Codependent helping is joyless; Christian service brings joy.
Codependent are driven by their inner compulsions; Christians are God-directed and can be free from compulsiveness, knowing that God brings the ultimate results.

As I thought about this article it brought to light some anger I have with churches. I defintely feel that codependents have been taken advantage of in the very place that should be shedding light on this life sucking sin disease. Then it just made me sad. There are so many ways to stay busy and blinded in this world. Lots of prayer and accountability are required to make sure we are serving Jesus and not some idol or unmet need. And most of all let's just admit our need and listen to him when he says, "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest."

Shopping!

Ok, since Stacy said I "looked cute" in her comment (Angi looking half way stylish is not the norm so please see her comment on the last post to confirm) I have to tell you about a new place I found to shop! Maybe it's not new to you guys (if so, then why hasn't anyone told me about it?) but I love PAPAYA! It has really cute clothes that are super cheap! T-shirts are 4 or 5 dollars and jackets are 20 to 30 dollars! The store is arranged with like colors together which makes for easy shopping even if you're not a shopper! AND if you find a style of shirt you like you can get one in every color! Is that something only I do? Best of all the one in the Galleria is right next to the play area which is great bribing material! So I don't sound like a commercial, I will say the t-shirts fit a little tight (just go a size up) and some of the clothes may be a little more teenage than mom style (what is mom style anyways?). Give it a try and call me so I can go too!

Satisfy My Desires

It’s been awhile! I have so many things to say and not enough time to write them all. When I have time I am going to do a quick update on Mason and his “favorite year yet!”. He is so cute and is really blooming this year. I really wanted to journal what happened last night just as a reminder to myself…


Yesterday was just a really challenging day. Several things happened, but I really can’t blame the way I felt on anything around me . The only way I can describe it was that my mind was under attack. The day seemed so long and so taxing. I tried my best to get myself out of it, praying and returning to scriptures, but nothing seemed to work. By the time the day was over I was really beaten down and feeling very hopeless. Then something happened... God gave me a great gift, it wasn’t something I could hold in my hand or even something that was really visible. It was more of a renewing, suddenly the darkness lifted and I could think clearly again. It was so beautiful and I knew in my soul it was from God. I felt like He was showing me, I’m here even when it doesn’t feel like it, even when your mind cannot understand me or what I’m doing, I’m here. It seemed almost like a lesson that next time my mind goes to that dark place, even when it lasts longer than a day, maybe I can rest on the fact that at the end is something really beautiful. Something He has just for me. I love this verse, (Is 58:11) the whole chapter actually.

“And the LORD will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.”

I used to think it was just for missionaries and the like, but I decided to keep it for my own. It’s pretty hot, where I am…

Psalms 27: Functional Blindness

"...to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and seek him in his holy temple." (v.4b)

I would like to think
that others are blind,
but I am not.
I would like to think
that I have
clarity of vision,
a penetrating insight
that lights my way.
I am good at recognizing
the sight problems of others.
I am skilled
at pointing out
the gaps in their vision
and the blind spots
that alter how they see
and the way they
respond.
I would like to
believe
that I have 20/20 vision,
but the evidence points
to the sad fact thatI don't.
I have the stunning ability
to look around
and not see You.
I see my
busy schedule
tasks to complete
problems to solve
people to see
demands to be met
things to repair
pressures to face
temptations to fight
pleasures to consume
things to build
things to tear down
plans to make
difficulties to survive
huge responsibilities
and short days.
I gaze at my life
every day
and again and again I fail
to see You.
It is a scary reality,
humbling to admit.
Though this world
is filled with
Your glory,
I exist
so much of the time
glory blind.
In Your love
You created a world
that is a sight and sound
display
of Your magnificent glory.
No matter from what perspective
we're looking,
no matter what vista
we're taking in,
no matter where we're standing
and which way
we're gazing,
Your glory is visible
and evident.
Yet, again and again
I fail to seeYour beauty.
So I seek Your
healing
one more time.
Please place Your
powerful hands
on my broken eyes
and give me sight again.
Please place your
powerful hands
on my wayward heart
and make it seek again.
Don't let me be
so blinded
with me and mine,
that I fail to seeYou.
For it's only
when my eyes
see Your beauty,
and my heart is filled with Your
glory
that I'll quit seeking
identity
meaning
satisfaction
purpose
fulfillment
and life,
where it can't be found.
So I would pray
this simple prayer,
"Please touch me by
Your grace
so that there'll never
be a day
where I haven't
somehow
someway
gazed upon
Your beauty."

-Paul Tripp

More on the new house and my heart

We are in our house. What a blessing, we love the neighborhood, the area, the school, and of course the house. We are doing some renovations and it has prevented us from unpacking the majority of the house, so we’ve been living in a disaster area for the last 2 weeks. My one year old is determined (and I do mean determined) to get electrocuted by the exposed outlets, swallow the loose screws, climb into the fireplace, pull down all the paper over the windows… And we are all tired of living out of boxes, at the mall, eating out… This is my confession, it is so easy for me to stand in the middle of the house look around and start to panic. I see all the mess, I feel all the aches of moving, I have all the worries of being unsettled and THEN here it comes, instead of praying and begging to see what God has for me I start pointing and looking around. I say “ there are people all across the world that would LOVE to be in my shoes, what gives me the right to complain?” Unfortunately this is not a prayer that comes from a heart full of mercy, instead mine is full of pride. Much like the prayer of the Pharisee in Luke 18:9. My heart is full of religion one that abides by moral law and not by grace. Basically, I’m saying don’t help me God, I need to do this myself, help those that are really sick, really weak, not me I’m too good and strong for your help. I love how Rose Miller explains religious moralism in her book, From Fear to Freedom…

Religious moralism is rooted in the power of will and self. Eventually it fails and we act like orphans: frightened, insecure people who need to be in control. We might be able to analyze of problems, but we cannot invent a cure. (and so we are left with our heads spinning, lost in the problem totally unable to see Hope)

Ok, this writing thing really helps me, I’m getting so excited. You what this means!? It’s all a facade! That’s right you know order, control, it’s not true, even though sometimes it seems like maybe I have some I really don’t. But I have Jesus (or He has me) and where I just analyze (can I even do that?) , He will CHANGE (my heart or whatever He sees fit)! Forget the house change my heart! Ok, my balloon has been popped… The room has stopped spinning and I’m realizing once again that He died for Me, ornery self righteous me. Today has suddenly turned into a beautiful day, wow…

House #2

If first you don't succeed, try try again! The first house was beautiful, but at the inspection we found out that it was falling apart. It needed big things like a new roof, work on the A/C, work on the pool and the list goes on. We have decided on a house in the same general area, this one needs a little cosmetic work, but that is a lot more fun than a new roof! Move in date is August 13th...